I had planned on sitting down tonight to write a post on Christmas and how we spent our New Year and how our baby girl won't quit growing. It seems strange that today of all days, the beginning of a new year, the Monday kick off to all resolutions and organization of 2011 started like any other day. If it had gone on like any other day, then I would be droning on about our daughter and the joys of sharing the holidays with family. Instead, around 5:30 my phone rang and my family will never ever be the same and there is a hole in my heart. I am sorry to share this sadness and please don't read it if you don't want to. But I have to write about it because there seems to be nothing else more soothing right now. Sitting in a catatonic state on the floor because nothing else seemed important enough to do was just indulgent and ridiculous and I would rather share the loss and ask for your help in praying for my family than do nothing.
We lost my uncle today and to say that his death and the circumstances surrounding it is the greatest tragedy my family has experienced pretty much describes the current state. My heart is breaking because someone I love has died but breaking even more because people I love so much have lost someone they love. Our entire family was just together Christmas Eve and I can't help but think the pictures I have on my camera are at the same time a haunting reminder and a glorious capture of the last time that my family will be whole.
As terrifying and tragic as this day has been, I can't help but acknowledge that the Lord has answered prayers and arranged circumstances that have allowed it to be bearable. That my mother was still in Charleston allowing all of us to be together when we found out, that my cousin in Texas was still at work when he received the news of the loss of his father and that a coworker has lovingly reached out to support him tonight, that Bert was home when my phone rang, that God blessed us a long time ago with a close family that has always shared everything. Through the tears and the confusion the one verse that the Lord keeps placing on my heart is this... "That all things work for good for those who love the Lord."
My uncle was the kindest man you ever met--generous and care taking. You have never met a better grandfather or someone so involved in the life of his family.
I ask that you please pray for
-his wife, they have been together since middle school. My mother says she hardly remembers her own sister before my uncle.
-my cousins and their families
-that the truth around his death be revealed and my uncle's life rightly honored.
-that guilt be lifted for everyone and that answers will be uncovered to this accident.
-that my family will be drawn closer together through this and even closer to the Lord.
-that throughout this time, the Lord will be honored and his loving peace be revealed to my aunt and cousins.
-that God will give me the words to speak and ears to listen. My cousin has been there for me anytime I have ever needed him and I only hope and pray I can return his support. I do not begin to know what to do or say and I am scared I will fall apart when the time comes to head to Augusta.
-for my mother. She has had a crazy holiday and will be needing encouragement and support herself to take care of my aunt.
If you are reading this, thank you for your prayers. I am sorry to unload such a burden on others but I do feel that the more people praying for my family, the faster peace will come.
In His Name,